Do You Partake in the Battle of The Genders?
Men’s responsibility towards mankind as a whole
In choosing for himself he chooses for all men. — Sartre
What does it mean to be a “man” or to be a “woman”?
To reply to this question, we think about what features each category entails. As a female, you are part of the category “women”, and as a male, you belong to the category “men”. Being part of these categories means that the features accompanying the category define who you are. In other words, you are those features; they are burnt upon your skin. The vital message I want to send out is that we ourselves choose who is who. We are responsible for deciding what makes a man a man and what makes a woman a woman. There is no definition out there telling us what men are; we rather say what men ought to be. We set up a set of rules that we must follow to avoid punishment through the judgement of others and the becoming of a misfit. But what if you don’t want to be in this category, can you simply jump to the other? — No, you remain simply category-less.
Our responsibility is thus much greater than we had supposed, for it concerns mankind as a whole — Sartre
As mentioned before, the responsibility of defining these categories is within our hands. We set them up, and their value depends on what value we assign to them. Aristotle came up with the classification system in order to place x in category X, where x belongs. But once x does not belong to X and not to Y, where does x belong? — x remains simply category-less.
To put it differently, as long as we act according to the “men-features” or “women-features”, we are creating humanity. One choice which we consider insignificant is more significant than what is being thought. When a man decides to follow the lines of a “real man”, he supports the prolongation of the existing men-features.
To give an example out of economics: if good A is very polluting when each of us decides to stop purchasing the good, there is no demand and hence no production. The polluting good A will disappear.
We have the power to decide whether good A continues existing; we have the power in our hands to stop the categorisation of men and women. We have the responsibility to actually free humanity.
If men want to be more vulnerable, they should act upon it and show they too feel pain and they too want to cry sometimes. This one guy who decides to keep a high degree of masculinity is responsible for maintaining traditional masculinity.
Nonetheless, men are not only responsible for the propagation of masculinity and women of femininity; each one of them is responsible for what humanity looks like today. On the other hand, while women try to act less stereotypical, when we look at men’s process, they still struggle to reverse the expectations they face. Some of them, consciously or not, feel superior to the female part of society or following their role.
By all means, both women and men are part of humanity. Each of us humans (men or women) is responsible for what humanity looks like. Your choices determine the course of humanity. Even those who think not to make a choice are responsible by choosing to not act. For instance, the one friend in the bar, noticing how his friend is objectifying the young lady but decides to do nothing more than observing, is as much responsible as his friend, promoting the idea of women being an object. Likewise, the way women define men or expect certain behaviours are feeding this gendered world as much as men do. It is evident that occasionally when a man approaches a woman, the woman takes distance for an underlying reason of fear. She wants to be left alone, but why? Whenever a guy gives a compliment, some of us women will associate it with a sexual remark.
The features of your category have simply marked your body. We are responsible for these specific marks; Women read those of men and act upon them. Men are taught to praise these features for maintaining the sense of belonging.
We should not create obstacles for those who want to determine their own existence. Our existence is not justified based on our gender roles, but gender does control it. To have the capacity to determine our own existence, we have to realise to what degree we are responsible for this lack of freedom to be.
Existence precedes essence
The people who preceded us are responsible for the marking of our bodies once we are brought to earth. It all starts with the yell of “it’s a girl/boy”. There you go, you are now part of this category, and you will have to act accordingly. However, one should realise that one can engage oneself in one’s life and create his own story. There is simply nothing that makes us “this type” of person. We are nothing when we are born. The moment you are born, an empty book is given to you. It is up to you to fill in the blank pages. As long as you haven’t started writing, you are nothing. (even if the nurse has written down your sex)
Gender barriers
Do we want to be responsible for the consequences followed by encouraging gender dualism (You are defined by your gender; who you are is determined by your sex), or do we instead want to be responsible to break the gender barriers so as to liberate human beings and realise that there is no objective reality about individuals?
All things considered, society is a social structure that we individuals create. Societies come with certain norms and types of behaviour one should adopt depending on the category one belongs to. Once the children are born, we discipline them on how to be. The stereotypes we teach them indeed make it easier to communicate since they are useful shortcuts. Nevertheless, next to being shortcuts, they are also responsible for the world we live in and the person who we might become. Babies are social sponges as they absorb everything that is taught to them. A gendered world creates a gendered brain. Since we are all part of this world, as long as we act upon these gender stereotypes, we are responsible for the gendered brains.
Additionally, gender stereotypes are harmful since they prevent individuals to fully express themselves and their emotions. Women cannot be independent, smart, or assertive. Men have to support (and not expect to be supported), be strong, courageous, intelligent, and insensitive. (why can’t they be vulnerable?). We are as much responsible for these gender roles as we are responsible for breaking down gender stereotypes, burning the script and allow each one of us to fill in the blank spaces in order to be the best version of ourselves. Even if men are responsible to a certain extent for women’s inferior position in society and the burdens she carries around, women are partly responsible for creating men’s narrow box of emotions. (The fact that men are taught that it is not their role to express emotions such as sadness, hurt or fear. All in all, continue with the idea “boys don’t cry”)
Is the solution to this problem the abolishment of gender? — No, it is not gender in my opinion which is the cause of these tensions. Unfortunately, gender in the wrong circumstances leads to negative consequences. We all need a sense of belonging. Nonetheless, the strong presence of social competition makes it a battle of the sexes. It is men against women instead of men and women living in harmony. Instead of telling one what to do, instead of attacking the other party, one should embrace the other team’s characters not fear to identify in cases with those outside their party. It is not a battle between two parties, a woman and a man; they are both human, as we are all.
